Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
