I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
