Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
