all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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