my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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