You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
