This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
