I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
