My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
