So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize