My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize