I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
