you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm always down for nudity.
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