I hate your face
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
