Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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