I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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