Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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