I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize