these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How's work?
Spinning.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
