His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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