you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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