She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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