He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize