She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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