Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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