I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
