I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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