her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
