Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
