how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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