i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
