Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
