what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
