my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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