The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
bring money and cleavage
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
