and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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