So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
