i just google imaged poop.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
