Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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