Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
