And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize