If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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