absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
