Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
