Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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