we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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