That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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