i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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