States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
