I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
