Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
