good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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