But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
