I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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